Ready-Made Biscuits Take On Grandmothers'

A wise old Texas camp cook once told me that baking was a science, but biscuit-making was an art. Creating the perfect pan full of just-right biscuits, with that light but solid crust on the top and the tender middle that drinks up butter and welcomes whatever you add atop it, from jam or jelly to scrambled eggs or sausage gravy, that, my friends is a culinary achievement on a par with creating the perfect souffle or beef bourguignon.

In the Deep South, restaurants rise and fall on the quality of their biscuits, and just about every grandmother has her own cherished and closely guarded recipe, the mere mention of which brings back powerful memories in her children and grandchildren.

The problem, though, is that while most grandmothers have and use biscuit recipes, fewer and fewer daughters and granddaughters take the time to make their own. Why do that, when there are so many less time-consuming alternatives?

I'll save you getting your skull dented by a rolling pin and tell you not to ask your grandmother that question.

The simple fact is that homemade biscuits are just not something that can be replicated in a ready-to-cook or quick-making form. However, that's not to say there aren't some tasty offerings.

Each biscuit in this test will be given a letter grade based on appearance, crust, tenderness, flavor and overall impression.

First, the refrigerated contenders.

Pillsbury basically owns the market here, but the product lines are varied enough to warrant three entries, plus one from a house brand just to keep them honest.

Pillsbury Grands Buttermilk: 180 calories, 8 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 600 mg sodium, 25 grams carbs.

These are massive, butter-drinking biscuits that look like someone left out just a pinch of dough on the way to make hamburger buns. The crust was a bit waxy, and the middle a bit more mushy than tender. On slicing, the middle balled up rather than parting nicely for the blade. The flavor was quite good, with a bit of a salty finish that was not unwelcome. Final grade: B-

Pillsbury Grands Low Fat Buttermilk: 170 calories, 6 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 590 mg sodium, 26 grams carbs.

This biscuit has only two grams of fat less than its full-fat cousin, but something goes seriously awry in the subtraction. The crust looks just fine, but the center of the biscuit has an oddly rubbery texture that almost completely refuses to soak up butter, letting it run out and pool on the plate. Put side-by-side with the original Grands, they were identical in appearance … but that's just about the only similarity. Final grade: D.

Pillsbury Perfect Portions: 170 calories, 7 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 480 mg sodium, 25 grams carbs.

These are like canned biscuits packaged in two-biscuit pouches so you can, if you're the kind who can only eat two biscuits, cook only two. Cooked according to package directions, the finished product had a crust that was barely there, more like the ephemeral crust of white bread than a proper biscuit topper. The middle was, well, middling, tender but with a raw-flour aftertaste. Lengthening the cooking time beyond package directions until the crust was properly done led to a dry middle. Final grade: C-.

Lowe's Foods Texas Style Buttermilk: 100 calories, 3 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 270 mg sodium, 15 grams carbs.

This is a standard-sized biscuit, as opposed to the gargantuan Grands, thus the much lower nutrition numbers. The top crust was a bit overbrowned when the package directions were followed, but the middle parted easily and drank a truly startling amount of butter. The flavor and aroma were excellent. Final grade: B+

Now we'll look at two dry mix contenders. These both require the addition of water to make the dough, but nothing else.

Bisquick Complete Buttermilk Biscuits: 150 calories, 5 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 370 mg sodium, 21 grams carbs.

The directions for making rolled biscuits were followed here, to make them as close as possible to the other entries. The end product was more like a scone than a biscuit, dry and very crusty and not as tender in the middle as it should have been. The flavor was nearly nonexistent, with just a small salty tang. Final grade: D.

Jiffy Buttermilk Biscuit Mix: 160 calories, 5 grams fat, less than 5 mg cholesterol, 420 mg sodium, 27 grams carbs.

Jiffy mix has been the secret weapon for many home cooks when it comes to cornbread for decades, and the biscuit mix produces a product that could also almost pass for homemade. The rise is excellent, the crust light but firm and the middle very tender. The only real demerit was the fact that, when cooked by package directions, the bottoms of the biscuits came out very tough and a bit hard to bite through. Final grade: A-.

And now we'll finish with three frozen contenders, which have a longer shelf life than canned.

Great Value (Wal-Mart house brand) Buttermilk Biscuits: 160 calories, 5 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 620 mg sodium, 24 grams carbs.

These didn't rise much during cooking, and the top crust was hard and unyielding. The center was dry but for some reason didn't soak up butter well at all. There was a dry, floury aftertaste that necessitated much coffee drinking to overcome. Final grade: F.

Pillsbury Grands Buttermilk: 180 calories, 8 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 560 mg sodium, 22 grams carbs.

The name here is a bit misleading, as the biscuits don't cook up nearly as large as their canned namesakes. They came out nicely browned, though, with tender centers and a slightly sweet aftertaste. The package cooking directions were off by about two minutes, as they were a touch under-done when taken from the oven even at the maximum recommended cooking length. Final grade: B.

Mary B's Buttermilk: 190 calories, 10 grams fat, 0 cholesterol, 520 mg sodium, 20 grams carbs.

One thing that immediately stands out about these biscuits is the cooking instructions. While all others recommend placing the biscuits a couple of inches apart on an ungreased baking pan, which frequently leads to half the bottom crust being left on the baking sheet, Mary B's specifies a lightly greased pan and suggests nesting the biscuits together. What this nesting does is let the biscuits rise against each other, leading to a much taller final product.

With a top crust that's just imperfect enough to pass for homemade, but somehow perfectly crisp throughout, and centers so tender you can eat them without butter or any other addition, the Mary B's is easily the only A+ in the test. These are truly outstanding biscuits.

As far as a best buy for the test, it's a toss-up between Jiffy and Mary B's. At less than $1 a box, the Jiffy mix is easily the cheapest per-biscuit, but the quality of the Mary B's puts them in the running. If you have kids, buy the Jiffy mix and let them learn the basics of rolling out dough and cutting out biscuits … but have some Mary B's in the freezer just in case something goes awry.