Break Out Glitter: Time To Say Thank You

With recently unwrapped gifts piling up in your child's room, it can be easy to let them spend the next few weeks absorbed in their new toys, movies and video games.

But experts say having them write thank you notes before you let them loose on the mound of new stuff is essential.

It teaches children to appreciate gifts and acts of kindness and gifts they receive.

"It is never too soon to teach children the importance of good manners and the appreciation of others. Otherwise, they grow up to become entitlement monsters," said Jacqueline Mansfield, of Essential Etiquette.

Gloria Starr, an image and etiquette advisor, said children and teens need to get into the habit of writing a response for all gifts and special favors.

Tiny Ones, Too

Dr. Sharon Fried Buchalter, a family therapist, said that for children who aren't old enough to write a note themselves parents hould write a note on their behalf.

"Many people find it cute to sign their child's name, while other families put the parents' name on the card until the child is old enough to do it himself," she said. "The important thing is that someone in your family is thanking the other person."

Mansfield said parents should let children write their own notes and address their own envelopes as long as it is legible.

When a child is very young, parents can give them a crayon and let them draw something.

>Buchalter said a good rule that many parents use is that the child must write a thank-you note before he or she can use the gift.

Mansfield doesn't suggest withholding the gift until a child writes a thank you note, but if a child refuses, she recommends taking the item away until they do.

"If they still refuse, you might suggest they give the item to a more appreciative child," she said. "The point is to teach them appreciation rather than entitlement."

'Do I Have To?'

Mansfield said parents should tell children why they are writing the note. Tell children it is polite to thank people when they do something nice for us.

"It shows them that we care about them and their feelings," she said.

Getting kids excited about the note can avoid it becoming another chore.

One way to get kids excited is for them to receive a thank-you note themselves. "This helps them realize how receiving a thank-you card can make someone feel really good," Buchalter said.

She suggests writing a thank-you note to your child for a gift he gives you or for helping you out around the house.

"Your thank-you card to him will not only fill him with pride, it will also provide an example of how to write a card," Buchalter said.

Mansfield said to allow children to see you writing thank you notes as well.

"Always show your child how you want the to behave. This is how they learn to become civilized adults," she said. "If you don't do it, why should they?"

Having Fun

Once parents teach children about the importance of the gesture, it's time to make it fun.

Doing that can be as simple as breaking out the glitter. Buchalter said to cover a table with colored paper, markers, pens and stickers. Turn on some music, talk with your child and make it a project.

"Families can make a nice activity where the table is filled with crafts and the whole family does their thank-you cards at the same time," she said. "It's a great bonding activity."

What To Say

When it's time to craft, keep it simple.

Mansfield said children should simply state their thanks and appreciation of whatever the gift or occasion it was, not to make it perfect.

"While you want your child to be grateful and write these notes, don't make it a chore of perfection," Buchalter said. " Let your child have some fun. Every line doesn't have to be perfect."

Let your child misspell things and add their own creative touch.

"Spelling isn't so important with smaller children, it adds to the charm," Mansfield said, adding that parents should let the kid take control and get involved only to check for appropriateness, supply materials and to offer guidance and encouragement.

Starr said besides just saying thank you, let children add a little detail about the gift, such as what they will do with it or what pleasure it brought them.

If your child wants to buy a card rather than make it, make sure they handwrite a note in it as well.

"The strength and pleasure is including a hand-written message," Starr said.

If there is a pile of notes to write, don't force your child to do it all in one day. "Children are not known for wanting to sit still for very long periods of time," Buchalter said. "Instead, spread thank-you note writing over a few days."