Are You A Busybody Grandparent?

By >Kassidy Emmerson

Every day in America, 4,000 people become first-time grandparents, according to Suite101.com.

Seniorjournal.com reports that, according to unpublished data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation, there are 56 million grandparents in America. That means many baby boomers and seniors alike are enjoying relationships with their children's children.

While it's the parents' responsibility to raise their children, grandparents have a hand in their upbringing, as well. This can enhance the process because grandparents can contribute wisdom and experience. However, sometimes, instead of being blessings, grandparents are viewed as busybodies.

Fortunately, there are ways you can avoid being labeled as meddlesome or interfering.

Avoid Undermining Authority

Intrusive grandparents undermine parents' authority by implying they're not doing a good job raising their children, according to CanadianParents.com. They may also try to outrank the parents by discounting their beliefs and views.

Besides upsetting the parents, this practice confuses the grandchildren because they're not sure who they should listen to. Their loyalties become divided.

This is probably the easiest pitfall for baby boomer grandparents to fall into. After all, having raised their own kids, they're used to being in charge. An article on Kidsgrowth.com recommends that grandparents keep their advice to themselves unless the parents ask for it. Instead of criticizing parenting skills, grandparents should praise and support their offspring. This will help build their confidence. It also will help improve family relationships and keep them on a positive note.

Limit Time

Grandparents may be intrusive if they believe they are entitled to spend time with their grandchildren anytime they desire. They may show up without invitations, insist their offspring and their families spend all holidays with them and expect the grandchildren to visit them often.

With both parents employed nowadays and kids being involved in school and after-school activities, families struggle with finding quality time to be together themselves. Grandparents who try to take up a lot of the little spare time the family has aren't going to be appreciated. Instead, they may be resented and labeled as being selfish.

Baby boomer grandparents, especially the ones who are retired and have plenty of time on their hands, need to realize their more-relaxed lifestyles aren't their children's. They also need to realize that they can't dominate their grandchildren's free time.

Besides having activities and responsibilities, grandchildren also often have at least one other set of grandparents to spend time with.

Grandparents who want to stay in touch with their grandchildren can utilize modern technology such as e-mail services when they can't physically be with them. This can help keep them in touch without interfering with their grandchildren's hectic lives.