Should Teen Date Older Man

Note: This is the final edition of DoubleTake as Eddie and Betty move on to some other things. Thanks to all our readers for your interest over the years, and especially to those who sent in questions. We hope we were able to help. Some final advice: Don't cheat, be nice to your partner, live for more joy and love.

Dear DoubleTake,
I'm 18 years old, and I met a guy two weeks ago at a club. Of course, it was 21-and-up, so I had to lie about my age at first. When he called me to go on a date, I had to be a little rude and decline it and tell him my real age. He didn't mind that I am only 18 and still a senior in high school.
He's 27.
We ended up talking nonstop the rest of the week, and I later agreed to go on a date with him. It's nothing serious now, but what should I do if it does get serious? None of my friends approve; they say he is too old. I'm sure my parents wouldn't approve either.
What should I do? End it or test it out? I mean, I'm leaving for college next fall anyway.

BETTY SAYS: There's no doubt: You can't date this guy anymore. He knows that hanging out with an 18-year-old is wrong. And you know there will be a lot more guys to choose from once you reach college. So just nip this flirtation in the bud.

Trust your friends on this one: Being with an older guy is not OK with them or with your parents.

What if you get in trouble trying to sneak into a bar together? There are way too many bad situations to imagine involving alcohol that he can purchase. And how well do you really know him? Although you say it's not serious, what if he's fallen for you? It would be easier on you to be done with the charade.

So how do you end it? Don't return his messages or calls. There's not even a reason to apologize. You still have to get through high school. If he confronts you somehow, just tell him the truth -- you need to finish up your classes without any distractions because spring's going to be busy as college time nears.

EDDIE SAYS:

I don't see this as clear-cut as Betty does. And I think if you're cutting things off, at 18, you can be mature enough to call and explain why.

The bad scenario is obvious: You fall for this guy, it throws off your priorities, you decide to stay with him rather than going to school and it falls apart midway through what would have been your second semester and you find yourself trapped. And that possibility is a bit elevated because you're most likely at a very different stage of life than this guy.

On the other hand, if he's really got your best interests at heart, he could help you get things done during your busy last semester, and be a fun break from your stressing, emotional friends.

If I had to guess... no, this won't work out to be the love of your life. But, like most relationships, it probably won't send your life screeching off the rails, either.

And, no, I have no intention of being this calm about it if my daughter asks the same question at your age.

Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

E-mail questions to doubletake@ibsys.com. A new column is published every other Tuesday.

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Double Take writers are not trained psychologists and their responses should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. Double Take reserves the right to edit submissions.