The Butter Test

Let me get one thing out of the way straight off: I am NOT going to get into the butter vs. margarine health debate here. I'm not a doctor or nutritionist, nor do I play one on TV. I've never made a habit of stepping into debates in which I'm not qualified to comment.

This is rather a treatise on the quality of life, specifically that portion of life spent consuming items cooked or drenched with butter.

Let's begin with that most urbane of seafood-related condiments, clarified butter. In the interest of fairness, I took myself to my local seafood shop and purchased two rock lobster tails. I steamed them together, then consumed one with clarified (drawn) butter and one with melted stick margarine.

OK, I confess, I consumed three bites of one with stick margarine. I simply could not, in good conscience, expose my palate to that insanity any longer. The margarine coated the lobster meat with a sort of greasy shell, blanketing rather than enhancing the sweet flavor of the meat.

I just want you, gentle reader, to appreciate the lengths to which I'm willing to go for your benefit. I am willing to get out there on the edge and consume lobster tails in the interest of bringing you the finest in culinary information.

The second experiment took place during the recent Thanksgiving holiday. Every mashed potato fan knows that, no matter how much butter is used in their preparation, a small-to-medium-sized pat on top of one's serving is the crowning touch. In the interest of research only, I had a second helping of mashers and topped them with margarine.

Whereas the butter melted and sank gracefully into the potatoes, the margarine formed a sort of viscous pool that required extensive stirring. To be fair, the flavor was fairly good, almost butterlike in its richness.

For the third and final test, I made two batches of that most traditional and simple of holiday goodies, sugar cookies. In one batch, I used unsalted butter. In the other, I used stick margarine.

The first difference cropped up in the mixing. It's difficult to "cream" margarine, but I did my level best to get sufficient air whipped in. The remaining ingredients mixed in easily, and the resulting dough balls looked very much alike.

Rolling out was a bit difficult, as the margarine dough had a stickier consistency than the butter, but a bit of bench flour took care of that. The margarine dough did seem to take the shapes imparted by the cutter better, holding sharper corners on the Christmas trees and stars.

Baking, however, drew a sharp line. The butter-based cookies came out as you'd expect: light golden-brown with darker bottoms, with a slight crunch and a smooth mouth feel.

The margarine cookies seemed to be reluctant to brown, but when they did, it was in a hurry. The centers of the cookies remained an oddly raw-looking white, and the mouth feel was best described as "gummy" by one of my pre-teen testers.

Now, I do not operate a professional test kitchen, but I do manage to turn out multiple identical batches of cookies without fail. I'd call the cookie test a fair one, especially given the simplicity of the recipe.

Judge for yourself! Get out there, buy some lobster, make some cookies and enjoy. Let me know what you do and how it turns out!

Ceilidh Update

As it turns out, this year's ceilidh will be held here at Casa Mongo. I plan to make a crock pot full of Blowtorch Chili and various cheese-and-cracker creations.

Like most foodies, I'm an "event" cooker. I like to make the food the centerpiece of any gathering. With the ceilidh, should you decide to host one, restrain yourself. The focus should be on storytelling and good fellowship, not the food. The food is there to keep you going and give you something to chew on while everyone else is telling their tales.

Want the Blowtorch Chili recipe? Tune in next week!

For your seafood and other enjoyment, here's how to make clarified butter:

Start with unsalted (sweet) butter, as the salt can change the smoke point of the butter and make clarification difficult.

Melt the butter gently in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Once it's melted, a white foam will appear on top. Spoon the foam off gently and discard. Drop the heat to low and let the butter heat for two more minutes, to make sure you've got the fats and proteins separated.

Spoon off any additional foam, then slowly and gently pour off the clarified butterfat into your container. Discard the white film of milk proteins which will collect on the bottom of the pan.

Use for dipping, sautéing, or tossing with pasta or steamed vegetables. Tightly covered, clarified butter can be stored for several weeks in the refrigerator. Be sure it's sealed well, though, as it will pick up odors from other items in the refrigerator very easily.

Questions? Comments? Drop me a line!