Review: Big Cast Bites Into 'Valentine's Day'

'Valentine's Day' (PG-13) (out of four)

Like those little confection hearts that have cute and funny sayings on them, like "Kiss Me" and "Be Mine," the movie "Valentine's Day" is just as predictable. Pull one of those candy hearts out of the box, and you're sure to get a one-liner you've seen or heard before. Ditto with "Valentine's Day."

The Garry Marshall ("Pretty Woman") directed romantic comedy is, in short, a Hallmark card wrapped in a movie filled with celebrity names. With a script by Katherine Fugate (who created and is credited with writing 49 episodes of "Army Wives." She's also reportedly already at work on the "Valentine's Day" sequel called "New Year's Eve"), intertwining storylines collide over the course of one Valentine's Day. Singletons plan "I Hate Valentine's Day" parties, the newly engaged navigate difficult waters, cheating husbands get found out, and the new couple who meet at work are on the verge of a few shocking discoveries.

While the storyline is presented as an ensemble cast, the star of the movie is Ashton Kutcher, who plays always perky Reed, a really cute guy (come to think of it, everyone in the movie is really cute). He owns a florist shop and hopelessly wants to tie the knot with Morley (Jessica Alba, who appears to have no interest in being on screen at all).

Most of the connections in the story come through Reed's character, intersecting by way of his shop, his bouquet delivery, or some other six degrees of separation. Kutcher once again proves his ability to carry a romantic comedy. His scenes with Alba seemed forced, but those with Jennifer Garner as his best gal pal, Julia, definitely hit plenty of high notes.

Country music teen star Taylor Swift makes her acting debut as a giddy high-schooler in love with Taylor Lautner ("Twilight"), whose appearance on screen each time elicited screams from the under 17 set in the audience. Swift does her best to rise to the occasion, but her ditzy dame seems more appropriate for a "Saturday Night Live" skit then a full on feature movie.

A better storyline regarding teenage love is Emma Roberts (yes, aunt Julia Roberts is in the film, too) and Carter Jenkins who play seniors going off to college, but hoping to lose their virginity to each other by scheduling it during lunch period.

Although the trailer plays up Julia Roberts' role as Bradley Cooper's airplane seatmate, the "Pretty Woman" actress has only brief screen time. Hang around for the end credits for a very cute inside joke courtesy of Marshall and Roberts. Kathy Bates and Queen Latifah have even less screen time than Roberts, by the way.

Jessica Biel as a neurotic, chocoholic public relations maven who collides with Jamie Foxx is an interesting sideline. Anne Hathaway gets the chance to try on different accents as a phone sex operator, while Topher Grace plays it safe as her love interest.

For the senior set, Shirley MacLaine is paired with Hector Elizondo as the perennially happy 50 years-plus married couple. A scene between the two in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, where an outdoor movie is playing, actually shows a young MacLaine on screen. What's the movie? 1958's "Hot Spell" with MacLaine as the bob-haired daughter to a doting mother.

The brief gay storyline in "Valentine's Day" is the movie's sorry attempt to not miss a single demographic, and while practically every couple in the entire Noah's Ark parade has some sort of kiss, perhaps the big screen kiss of two men would just be too much for mainstream audiences. It's blatantly absent.

When the movie is over, like chocolates in a red velvet box, you'll either feel as if you bit into the caramel you were looking for, or that all of the good stuff's been picked out and eaten. Much like the love it or hate it holiday itself, it's really just a matter of personal taste.