Steer Clear Of 'Road Trip'

There have been halfhearted attempts to try and make movies that even come close to "Animal House," and "Road Trip" is another one that falls short.

This exact remake of "Overnight Delivery," the movie starring Paul Rudd and Reese Witherspoon that went straight to cable TV, is a long journey that doesn't seem to want to come to its destination.

The sleeper hit "There's Something About Mary" used potty humor and used it well; just look at the big-screen totals. And then came 1999's clever "American Pie," which turned a classic American dessert into a sexual device.

But as vulgar as both those movies may have seemed, "Road Trip" is clearly the winner in the raunchy category.

Breckin Meyer, of "Clueless" fame, along with Sean William Scott (Stifler in "American Pie"), Paulo Costanzo and scene-stealing newcomer DJ Qualls hit the highway of hell to try and intercept a tape that has been accidentally mailed off to his girlfriend, played by Rachel Blanchard.

Meyer's and Blanchard's characters have been going steady since they could walk, and both have decided to go to different colleges, he in Ithaca, N.Y., and she in Austin, Texas. They're an optimistic couple who believe that a long-distance relationship can withstand not only the distance of more than 1,800 miles of highway, but also the temptations of college life.

ROAD TRIP

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After many attempts to get hold of his girlfriend, Meyer assumes that she is having an affair, and he feels that the only way to get back at her is to have one of his own with Amy Smart of "Felicity" and NBC's "The '70s."

She thinks it would be "cool" to videotape their encounter, and he agrees. But what happens afterward is a bumpy, barf-inducing ride of lewd, crude and out-and-out rude disasters.

They talk Qualls into letting them use his father's car, eventually wreck it after trying to jump a 30-foot ravine, talk a blind woman into letting them "use" a school bus, crash a party at a black fraternity and visit a sperm bank to help get cash for their journey.

Tom Green, who plays a campus tour guide, narrates the adventure to the audience. He gives the lowdown to prospective students on what college life really has in store, namely nudity, sex, drugs and alcohol.

Green is even weirder than on his own MTV show and becomes obsessed with feeding Meyer's pet boa constrictor, even going as far as to almost feed the live mouse to himself.

Ivan Reitman produced "Animal House" and "Road Trip," but unlike his first frat-house, lowbrow comedy, this one crashes and burns. The young actors might have a chance had they had a decent script, but unfortunately, this is an old model that should have stayed on the showroom floor.