Wedding Is Time To Eat, Drink, Be Unmarried

It's officially spring, because I've been invited to three weddings.

That may make me feel popular, but it also means that I'm obligated to spend time and money on couples I may not know well. While the thought of a party with unlimited free drinks is appealing, for many of the single set, wedding bells really do bring the blues.

Who should we take as a date, if anyone?

If you don't have a steady partner, an opposite-sex friend seems to work well. That way you have the person to slow dance with and you're both free to meet others.

I'm fine bringing a same-sex friend, but why reduce my chances of snagging a fellow soloist by adding another singleton to the mix?

Some say you shouldn't bring a date unless you're seeing someone seriously, which generally means three months or more. That rule works when it comes to a close friend's wedding, especially if you're in it. It's enough responsibility to be in the bridal party, let alone worry about whether your new guy is having a good time.

You should also remember that bringing a new acquaintance to a wedding can set a more serious tone than you'd like. Maybe he'll pick up on your sensitive side when you grab his lapel to wipe your tears and blow your nose, but chances are he might think you're a little too wrapped up in marriage thoughts yourself.

However, a wedding can make for a great date. Music, food, dancing, lots of activities to keep you busy -- it could be a good testing ground to see how your prospect handles social situations.

(Just be prepared for the date from hell, where you wake up to find him sleeping next to you with one of the bridesmaids in his arms. It happened to me, and I was definitely the one sleeping alone.)

In many cases, bringing a date isn't even an option. In an effort to save money, many couples don't allow all guests to bring dates. It may be annoying, but it most likely means there will be other dateless ones to entertain you.

My friend Amy points out that going solo doesn't mean you're really alone. She finds that the single people are usually thrown together at the same table, making it easier to get a conversation going and know who's "on your side."

And unless the person who invited you to his or her wedding is a complete stranger, you'll probably find a familiar face among the crowd. Just don't assume you'll meet someone for romance. Like any event, there may be a bunch of losers who aren't your type.

If you go alone and can't help but avoid questions about when you'll be getting married, don't take it too seriously. Tell the nosy offender that you don't believe in weddings, that your lover is on safari, or you were recently in Vegas, but, "Oops, I forgot to wear my ring."

I find it helps to treat a wedding like a party, which is an adventure and never dull for those of us who enjoy people watching. You can have a fabulous time, or you can be disappointed. It's really up to you.

As with most parties, alcohol will most likely be served. While I don't support drinking to cope with bad situations, I can't say a few drinks won't ease the pain at a dateless wedding. And asking a guy to pick up a drink for you on his way to the bar may even serve as an icebreaker.

Just relax and have a positive attitude. It's one night of your life. It's probably better than a doctor's visit, and maybe even cheaper. You never know who you'll meet or what fun you'll have.

If it's absolutely miserable, make your appearance and leave. I'm sure no one will notice, unless of course you bring the unattached best man along with you, which I highly recommend.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday.