The 'Net: A Comfortable Place For Oddballs

You Might Be Weird In Real Life, But Not In Cyberspace

Dan Bernard, Staff Writer,

In this column:

How the Internet lets self-described outcasts stay detached and tapped in at the same time -- and like it.

Our local librarian, Carmaline, stopped my husband in the grocery store, and said she'd heard I'd left nursing to make my living on the 'Net.

My husband said she'd heard right.

With tears in her eyes, Carmaline asked how I'd done that. "My son suffers from severe panic disorder. He wants to get a job, but he's afraid to leave the house. Do you suppose there is any kind of work for him online?"

When my husband repeated this story to me, he got all choked up. (He's too empathetic for his own good.)

"Doesn't Carmaline realize that nowadays panic disorder is a non-event?" I asked. "So what if her son can't leave his house? Bring the world to him with a PC."

IBS illustration by Melissa Warp The Internet has changed my life, and I daresay the lives of many others, by indulging, encouraging and celebrating our weird personalities, our neurotic tendencies and even our agoraphobia.

If you are an outcast like me, you know exactly what I mean. Remember how we schlepped into work every day, excluded from the popular clique? We were wallflowers who had to interact with real, live people so we could make the rent. If we weren't married, our evenings felt empty, so we slunk out to bars to meet our special someone.

But the Internet has liberated us from our social ball and chain. Now that I live on the Web, I don't need people, places or human interaction. I'm solitary without being lonely. I earn money without leaving my house. Every day is casual day. I have eschewed people and regained my sanity.

All The Amenities Of Real Life

Lest you feel sorry for me, thinking I wander friendless throughout this life, don't. I have dozens of kinda/sorta friends, although I must confess, most of them are virtual.

Are virtual friends any less valuable than flesh-and-blood friends? Are e-mails adequate substitutions for conversation? Can I really say I know how a person looks after viewing their downloadable PhotoSuite image?

We've got romantic chat rooms, cyber-classes (click here to learn how to make wind chimes from old silverware) and employment postings. The Internet has given us permission to stay home, be productive and find love.

I make more money in a week, writing full-time at my dining room table, than I did working as a part-time nurse -- with none of the pneumonia and TB germs, and without having to worry about who wants to go to lunch with me today.

If my pants won't zip because I've pigged out on Fig Newtons, I slip into my sweats and let my gut hang over my keyboard.

Retiring Some Non-'Net Rituals

I don't talk on the phone much anymore because my modem monopolizes my line. The one or two living, breathing friends I used to have stopped calling me, complaining my signal's always busy. When the phone does ring, it takes me half a minute to figure out exactly where that strange noise is coming from.

I don't bother writing letters, because they take too long to receive. So if I can't e-mail you, I don't correspond with you. I've stopped going to the library or the bookstore or buying magazines. All the news that's fit to read is available on my desktop.

From www.peapod.com When the cupboards are totally bare, my husband goes grocery shopping. But in January 2000, he's switching to Peapod, the online grocery shopping service that delivers to your home. He says, "Let the food come to us."

On slow nights, I check out the dancing hamsters or see how the markets are moving. Or I play with a virtual dog or check out the newest screensavers at CNET.

Carmaline's son shouldn't worry: There are no panic attacks in our virtual world. Thanks to the Internet, living life in a cyber-bubble is a gas. Just ask all of us deep, dark loners -- e-mails only, no phone calls please.

Related link:
"With all the time you spend surfing the Web, have you lost touch with your friends, family and career? Everyone tells you to get a life, but you don't know where to find one? Let Get a Life! Corp. construct a virtual life for you!"

Have you noticed how technology has changed society? Maybe you should write an installment of Digital Culture. Drop us a line.

--Jacqueline Tresl, R.N., a coronary intensive care nurse and nursing supervisor for over 20 years, freelances for magazines and newspapers from her home in rural Ohio. Her first book, "Whoever Heard of a Horse In The House?" is scheduled for release in March.
--First published Dec. 17, 1999.