Celebrity Chatter: Washed-Up Stars Want To Be Ozzy

Ozzymania is now officially out of control. You can't turn around without either hearing about a new deal the wild and wacky Osbournes have signed or how Sharon Osbourne lost 40 pounds by wearing a gastric band.

No one but music metalheads cared about Ozzy Osbourne until the 10-episode reality TV show "The Osbournes" made its way into living rooms via MTV.

I couldn't believe my ears the other day as I sat in a small cafe in St. Petersburg, Fla., and heard a table full of folks from Middle America, U.S.A., on vacation talking Ozzy. There was a couple in their 30s with a sleeping baby, the parents of one of the couple's, and then parents of the parents. Three generations to be exact.

The group sat and debated the worth of "The Osbournes." Jane Middle America, the mother of the couple, said that she couldn't keep her eyes off of the show. Grandma and Grandpa said that they had sampled it because everyone at their bridge club talked about it and now they were hooked.

"What was I hearing? What had America come to?" I thought as I sat sipping my latte.

Now everyone wants to be like Ozzy. Trouble is, most of the folks are celebrities who seem to want to use the success, or fluke shall I say, of "The Osbournes" to revive their failing careers.

The New York Times reported that David Lee Roth videotaped a barbecue at his L.A. home, then he sent copies of the VHS (guard your mailbox!) to media types suggesting that maybe he could be the next Ozzy.

Cybill Shepherd has installed a video camera in her bathroom and Gene Simmons of Kiss believes his family life is exciting enough to create a show around.

Still in the works, "Making The Baby," which will follow Brandy through her pregnancy and delivery, and Kato Kaelin (of O.J. Simpson non-fame) whose show "House Guest" is in the works.

Another Yoko?

Heather Mills is being billed as the latest Beatles Dragon Lady by family and friends of former Beatle and music legend Paul McCartney.

According to the New York Post, McCartney's fiancee held a party for 50 girlfriends at her totally renovated London flat, but didn't include the McCartney girls, Mary, Stella or Heather.

The couple is to be married in June, but no wedding destination has been revealed, fueling speculation that it could be in Ireland or the Hamptons of New York.

"Heather Mills is shaping up as the Yoko Ono of the McCartney clan by coming between the former Beatle and his longtime friends and family," the Post reported.

McCartney also has a son, James.

Stella McCartney, who has designed bridal dresses for many of the rich and famous, including Madonna, will not design Mills' gown, it has been reported.

McCartney started dating Mills (pictured, left) in 1999 after his wife, Linda McCartney, died from cancer.

A spokesman for McCartney said that, "The kids are fine. It makes for a better story if everyone's unhappy, doesn't it?" As for the details of the wedding, Geoff Baker added, "I don't know about the wedding and don't want to. It makes my life easier."

Maybe Heather and Sir Paul should get a reality TV show. Now that would be worth watching!

Miss Ross Rejuvenating

While Diana Ross's camp has been tight-lipped about her reasons for entering the $1,000 a day rehab Promises in Malibu, reports have indicated that the 58-year-old diva may have had a problem with prescription pills and too much wine.

A supermarket tabloid reported that she was relying on painkillers that she had been prescribed for an old injury and drinking wine "day and night."

An aide to the singer's spokesman said that Ross checked herself in voluntarily so that she could "clear up some personal issues before she starts on a summer tour in both the United States and abroad," but the nature of the addiction was not revealed.

Promises has cleaned up many a star, including Ben Affleck, Paula Poundstone, Charlie Sheen, and Christian Slater.

Q. and A.

Q.: I was wondering about Matthew Perry. How is he doing with his prescription problem? I have the biggest crush on him and never miss any of his movies or episodes of "Friends."
Cindy,
Crystal Lake, Ill.

A.: No news is good news. Perry has been working on his film career since the "Friends" finale and seems to have gotten his life on track.

Perry checked himself into the Hazelden Foundation of Minneapolis in 1997 for treatment of the early stages of what was described as "dependency on a prescription pain medication."

Perry had been prescriped Vicodin after a snowmobile accident and felt that he had started to abuse the drug.

Watch for for Perry in a movie opening on Aug. 23 called "Serving Sara," with Elizabeth Hurley.

Michelle Solomon's gossip column, Celebrity Chatter, appears each Monday. Got a question about a celebrity? E-mail us (please include your first name, city and state) and we'll find you the answer. Michelle Solomon@Celebrity Chatter.