Work/Life Coach Keeps You On The Right Track

You're a new mom and you feel overwhelmed by the demands of your life; or you're a mid-career professional who wants to rediscover zest and passion for your work; or you're eager to try something new but don't know where to start; or you're just plain burned out on your job and need a new direction.

Perhaps you want to think about hiring a coach--a new kind of advisor who is neither a therapist nor a business consultant but a personal advisor who helps people plot their path.

Coaches develop a personal partnership with their clients that is very different from the relationship people have with a therapist, a consultant, a spiritual director or even a friend, according to Thomas Leonard, a pioneer of the profession and founder of Coach U, a company based in Steamboat Springs, Colo., that trains coaches.

"The client uses the coach to set goals, grow, get a great life and make changes, and one of the reasons it works is that a coach helps a client stay in action. A coach is like a still, small voice saying, 'Are you really doing what you want to do? What have you done this week to accomplish your goal?' It keeps them on track," Leonard said.

Both men and women seek out the services of a coach, but several local coaches say their clientele is predominantly women, many in their 30s and 40s.

"Mostly it's people who have gone through the cycle of acquistion--they own a home, a car, have kids--and they want to know what's next," said Leslie Wright, a Twin Cities-based coach who considers herself a spiritual coach.

"Most women I coach are trying to find something beyond their everyday grind. I ask the client, 'What do you value? How is what you value being lived?' We talk about giftedness--tapping into giftedness can be a vehicle for finding balance because it makes space for what energizes you."

Kim DeBlieck's coaching practice, called LifeStrides, specializes in helping working moms. DeBlieck said her clients typically are seeking balance, peace of mind, a place to be heard by an objective ear and someone who can help them prioritize a dizzying range of day-to-day demands.

One of the common issues DeBlieck sees among her clients is "Mommy guilt": the relentless pressure to do more and be more at home, at work and in the community. Working through that guilt is a process of helping the client identify her "gremlins"--the "shoulds" in her lifeas well as her values.

"A coach looks at a client's life from a point of curiosity. I believe the client has the answers already; as a coach I help sort through the muck and weeds to bring that out. I come from the belief that the client is already whole and resourceful," DeBlieck said. "I help women realize their power and how to make choices out of that power."

Nina Salveson, whose coaching business, Life Rhythms, works primarily with women struggling with job dissatisfaction, has found that "work and life can never be separated.

"The women I see feel that something isn't working--something is missing. Maybe they are thinking about a new career altogether or contemplating starting a business," she said. Salveson takes the client on a "discovery process" that helps clarify what's important to her, what's frustrating, where she's stuck and what her values are. In the end, the client might learn that a job change is not necessarily the right step.

"She might discover that she doesn't need a new job but needs fresh perspectives and a strategic approach to her current job," Salveson said. In that case, she helps the client put in place a professional development plan.

Sometimes a client will hire a coach because she believes she needs a job change or career transition. But in the process of working with the coach she might discover that what she really needs is something entirely different and unexpected.

"I coach to underlying issues," said Karen Greer, a Twin Cities coach who considers herself a life-purpose career consultant. "The presenting issue might be job-related, but I talk through that issue with the person and get a background, find out patterns from the family of origin, work history, talents and skills."

That process typically unearths several common issues that hold women back, Greer said, including old belief systems such as "you must be nice under all circumstances"; emotional baggage such as unresolved grief; and the difficulty of hearing one's own voice. Oftentimes Greer will refer the client to a therapist so that she can work on the underlying issue before continuing to explore work and career issues.

One technique Greer uses to help the client assess her talents and interests is to ask her to describe herself at age 8. Greer uses that age based on the work of feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan, who theorized that girls start to lose self-esteem and conform to cultural expectations at about age 11. If an adult can identify what energized her as a child, she might get valuable information for making decisions about her future path.

Greer also explores the client's relationship to creativity.

"If we have creative talents and don't use them, we're off balance. Many times we downplay the creative in us," Greer said.

One client, for example, majored in music in college but had taken a job in health care. She had not played music for 10 years and discovered that, as a result, her life was dry and dissatisfying.

The amount of time a person spends with a work/life coach varies anywhere from two months to a year, depending on the person's goals, time, resources and energy. "There are definite phases to making a career change," Salveson said, and a good coach will work with a client from start to finish.

"It's an amazing thing to be part of someone's life unfolding," Wright said.

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