Parents: Be Aware Of Divorce Fallout

Imagine finding out your parents are getting a divorce. Whether you're 8 or 18, the pain is often the same.

The statistics paint an interesting picture. One out of two marriages ends in divorce, and 25 percent of Americans are raised by divorced parents. There are 90 million step-families.

"There are ways that we can deal with this and stop this trend, stop this pattern, and raise healthy kids," San Diego psychologist Marjorie Krausz said.

Krauz says how you handle the divorce can make a significant difference for your child.

"We know that children that are in conflict for a very long time are at higher risk for conduct disorders, emotional problems, drug and alcohol abuse," she said.

Fourteen-year-old Jacquelyn Jacobson's parents divorced when she was 2. They both remarried and divorced again.

Her advice?

"It's better to stop the other parent or the other people from saying stuff before you get hurt," Jacobson said.

Twelve-year-old Ashley Brown hated being told when she could speak to her parents.

"You should be able to communicate with both parents whenever you want to because it's your right to do that," she said.

Experts say be aware of how your emotions affect your child because kids see it, too.

"My dad got really emotional in front of me, and so whenever I saw him get emotional, it made me cry," said Kathryn Haynes, 11.

"If the parents can get together and reduce the conflict and problem solve effectively, then the children don't have any conflict to live within," Krausz said. "That it's really based on respect, that's one of the best lessons we can teach our kids."

Experts say adults will typically get over the pain of a divorce after about three years. Research shows the effect of divorce on children may last for decades.

If you would like more information, please contact:

Marjorie Krausz, Ed.D., M.F.T.
6992 El Camino Real #205
La Costa, CA 92009
(760) 931-9333

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