Chat With Elton John On AOL, LL Cool J.

Once again, and this time, with feeling: LL Cool J is hard as hell! Battle anybody, I don't care who you tell! You will fail! You are stale! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! I loved that song. LL could probably still qualify as "hard as heck," with his appearances in sitcoms and bad movies balancing his latest testosteronal effort, "G.O.A.T." The best, for my money, are still "Mama Said Knock You Out," "I Can't Live Without My Radio," "Rock the Bells," "I'm Goin' Back to Cali," etc. He'll be chatting on usatoday.com at 4 p.m. EST, 3 p.m. CST, 2 p.m. MST, 1 p.m. PST.

You can't get more unsubtle of a name for a teen-scream boy group than Boyzone. This is the zone where you find boys, it says. Boys by the ton, come 'n' get 'em. The group has been huge elsewhere besides the States, and could very well become the next 'N Sync. Because we definitely need more. Two of the members of the cutest Irish export since the IRA will be chatting on bbc.co.uk at 6 p.m. EST, 5 p.m. CST, 4 p.m. MST, 3 p.m. PST.

Her name is Rio, and she's dancing over there. Rio, Rio, Rio, on the Rio Grande. Or something to that effect -- I was pretty young when Duran Duran made that classic, and I don't think I ever really got the lyrics right. After being probably the chief swoon kings of the '80s, they made a comeback of sorts in the '90s, and their latest album is called, intriguingly, "Pop Trash." See a live Webcast of their latest concert on hob.com at 3 p.m. EST, 2 p.m. CST, 1 p.m. MST, 12 noon PST.

The Backstreet Boys are old hat. Ricky Martin's yesterday's news. 'N Sync -- conk shew, conk shew. The latest fresh-faced pop sensation, the sweet young kids with the cheery harmonies who make the teenyboppers scream is the hip, hot newcomers The Cure! Really! I'm not lying! They're cute, they're handsome, they're good-looking, and they've got that fresh hip-hop 'tude! Word! They're straight from tha streets, with an emphasis on "tha"! Really! Well, no, not really. I never could lie to you. You can see a Webcast of the Cure's latest concert on hob.com at 3 p.m. EST, 2 p.m. CST, 1 p.m. MST, 12 noon PST.

AOLers only: Elton John is a world-famous pop tunesmith, producing hits like "Bennie and the Jets" and "Candle in the Wind." Billie Jean King is a tennis superstar whose battle against Bobby Riggs made history. What is it that brings these two together in a chat on AOL, you ask? Well, both are hosting Smash Hits, the eighth annual World Team Tennis match to benefit the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Chat on aol.com at 5:30 p.m. EST, 4:30 p.m. CST, 3:30 p.m. MST, 2:30 p.m. PST. AOL members only. Keyword: Live.