Shopper's Bills, Late Notices Pile Up

Dear DoubleTake,
I have two issues with my grandmother, whom I'm very close to.
We bought a house in September, something we both wanted to do.
After we moved in, my hours at work got crazy after I was promoted to assistant manager, meaning I had less time to spend with her at home.
When I get my checks, I go to garage sales and thrift stores to buy stuff -- things we don't need.
She gets mad about it and says bills are more important than those things. Our gas bill is so high, we've had a disconnect notice.
She thinks I don't care about her. Is she right?

BETTY SAYS:

Grandma knows best. She's been there, done that, and she knows that getting the bills paid is priority No. 1 when you're a homeowner.

We live in a consumer society. Don't let other people or ads lead you to believe that making a house a home is more about buying stuff to put inside than maintaining it.

America is a nation of debtors, so don't fall into that trap like so many others have. Your credit will be in much better shape if you keep the bills in order.

Show your grandmother how much you care by being responsible. Then, make a nice dinner for her at home sometime.

EDDIE SAYS:

You probably do care about your grandmother very much, otherwise you'd be very unlikely to make such an unusual decision as to buy a house with her. It could be very sweet, and if you couldn't afford to own a home otherwise, it may be a great financial decision.

Or it may be that she is letting you say you bought a house together when really she's propping you up, because it sounds like you lack responsibility with your money.

You possess some grown-up traits, as evidenced by your rise up the ranks at work. So you know how to do to something right. You just have to put that into play in the rest of your life.

At work, you wouldn't push for new equipment if you couldn't pay your workers. Look at what's most important -- such as keeping all your utilities on -- and then worry about what to do with your disposable income.

Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

E-mail questions to doubletake@ibsys.com. A new column is published every other Tuesday.

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Double Take writers are not trained psychologists and their responses should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. Double Take reserves the right to edit submissions.