Woman Hates New Boyfriend's Dogs

Dear DoubleTake,
I have a dilemma. I have been dating an absolutely wonderful guy for the past few weeks. He definitely has potential. The only thing that stands in the way of our potential love connection is his two large, furry friends. I can tolerate a couple Chihuahuas or toy poodles, but these are massive German Shepherds.
The couple times I've been to his place, he's put them in a room or let them wander the backyard.
I don't want him to have to do this each time, but I do not have a passion for dogs. I don't like the barking, shedding hair or uninvited licks. What should I do? How should I approach him about the dogs without offending him?

BETTY SAYS:

Face it -- he's a dog guy and you're not a dog gal. If you truly despise his pets, it may be time to let this absolutely wonderful guy run free. Besides, there are plenty of women out there who love dogs. He doesn't have to settle.

Decide once and for all if having dogs is a dealbreaker for you. The dogs aren't going anywhere, so any kind of confrontation about his pets -- so long as they haven't attacked or bit you -- will seem out of line.

That said, don't beat yourself up about the lack of passion you have for these animals. Learning to love the beasts may be easier said than done.

Give this relationship a few more weeks. In a month, you'll know if there's more walks in the park ahead or if a laundry basket full of dog fur-covered clothes is a thing of the past.

EDDIE SAYS:

After a few weeks with a guy, you start wondering how to get him to make major changes in his lifestyle and get rid of pets that he probably cares for and loves, and that he tries to keep out of your way.

Any other problems so far? Perhaps you think he should move to a better neighborhood or call his mother more often.

I admit that I suspect people who don't like dogs of having some flaw -- it's unfair and irrational, I know -- but you really do seem to sniffing around for something to turn into drama. If dogs cause you that much discomfort, then rule the guy out. People do that for all kinds of things -- smoking, drinking, political views, etc.

But if you think his good qualities might outweigh the inconvenience of a couple dogs, don't worry about it yet. Maybe turn a page in the calendar before you start plotting gut-wrenching decisions for this guy.

You have a right to ask that he keep the dogs away when you visit since they make you uncomfortable. Basically, put a leash on your desire to train this guy to your liking before you have had time to decide if you even have personalities that can work together for more than a few weeks.

But realize that if things continue, you will probably need to at least learn to play nice with his puppies.

Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

E-mail questions to doubletake@ibsys.com. A new column is published every other Tuesday.

To be considered for publication, please keep letters to fewer than 300 words. If you feel more background information is needed, consider adding it as a postscript. Because of the volume of the mail received, Eddie and Betty offer advice only to the letters that are chosen for publication.

Double Take writers are not trained psychologists and their responses should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. Double Take reserves the right to edit submissions.