Where Can I Meet Some Singles?

Dear DoubleTake,
I'm 27 years old, and have zero luck meeting women. I have literally been on four dates in almost two years.
I've tried the bar scene, blind dates, singles mingles, online dating and actual dating services. All to no avail.
I have been told that I'm an attractive guy with a decent personality and have never really had trouble communicating or even dating. Meeting women that seems to be the problem.
I currently run sound for a local band, which means my weekends are always booked, and since I'm not the one on stage, no one cares, and thus work has proven to not be an option to meet someone.
The few women that I do meet tend to fall into one of three categories: Married, has kids or is completely uninterested. Where are the single women?
Almost every woman I have dated has cheated on me. Often I put up with the lies and infidelities for way too long because I know how hard it is to find anyone and I don't want to be lonely.
I've read that hobbies, groups or classes are a good place to meet people. Unfortunately, I rarely have the money or time to dedicate, and most of my hobbies are things I do at home, like recording.
Needless to say, my self esteem is shot. I've asked my friends, family and even total strangers for any advice, and no one seems to have any new ideas.
I'm starting to feel like I'm going to be alone forever. Please help.

BETTY SAYS:

There's an excellent opportunity to meet a lot of girls right in front of you -- the music business.

Sure, you're not the guy right up front singing. But maybe you can show up early and meet girls. Use your connections in your favor. Try and overcome your shyness, be bold. Try to hit up after-parties. You're only 27, go have fun!

It's interesting that you do recording on the side. Perhaps what you need to do is completely uproot your life and start fresh. Have you thought of moving to Austin, Nashville or Los Angeles? There are beautiful, single women there -- and a lot of the ones who play live music probably need a good sound check.

And don't put up with any more cheaters. If you feel like there's a certain pattern going on -- like you're falling for the same type of bad girl -- then date against type.

The pressure of finding the one can take over your life. So try not to worry about it. One day, she'll just show up. Just make sure you're out of the house long enough to catch her walk by.

EDDIE SAYS:

You may have a lot of good things going for you, but you clearly have one thing holding you back: A palpable sense of desperation.

If you are complaining to strangers about not meeting people, you come off like a guy who can't land a girl because there's something wrong with him.

(And maybe there is, but we don't really have enough information on that.)

So try to relax. Do the things you like, and eventually you'll find someone. But putting all your energy into thinking and worrying about it hasn't done you any good.

Until then -- if that band has any kind of following, there are probably plenty of extra women around to keep you company for a while.

Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

E-mail questions to doubletake@ibsys.com. A new column is published every other Tuesday.

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Double Take writers are not trained psychologists and their responses should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. Double Take reserves the right to edit submissions.