Guess what? Dr. Laura's fans don't want to have lunch with me, either.

I should have expected it. I should have known that my inbox would overflow with venom and bitterness after last week's column, in which I criticized radio shrink Dr. Laura's remarks about homosexuality.

For the record: On her nationally syndicated radio show, the good doctor has compared homosexuality to incest. She's equated it with sadomasochism and bestiality, and she's labeled homsexuals as "deviants."

Earlier this week, both foes and fans of Dr. Laura demonstrated outside Paramount Studios in Los Angeles. Opponents want Paramount to cancel plans for a Dr. Laura TV show this fall; fans are anxious to see that show.

This week, I've learned -- among other things -- that I am a "sick lesbian" (this is going to come as a huge shock to my husband), a "twisted dullard" (whatever that means), a "deviant-sex advocate" and a "dysfunctional, deviant, devil-minded individual."

Got a strong stomach? Here's a sampling from my inbox this week:

• "Gays make up less than 2 percent of the population, doesn't that tell you something? Please quit shoving your lifestyle choices down people's throats. Sooner or later we're gonna shove back!"

• "Three cheers for Dr. Laura! Deviant, immoral lifestyles will doom what little is left of civilization in this country. (We are heading down the slippery slope.) If one remembers correctly, there is no record of such relationships conceiving a child. Thus, one perverts the purpose of the difference between the sexes by engaging in unnatural relationships. Three cheers for Dr. Laura! Dr. Laura for president!"

• "It's a sad state of affairs when people like you speak out against the moral rightness and opinion of someone like Dr. Laura. What are you afraid of??? That she may just be right? It's a shame that someone with your warped sense of thinking has the exposure that you have. I'm not surprised. There are many dysfunctional, deviant, devil-minded individuals like yourself in the media and entertainment business. What a shame. Because America is sold a constant diet of lies through the entertainment/media business. I hope you're proud of yourself.

  "The real question you should ask yourself is, if there is a God and all this Bible and heaven and hell stuff is true, what happens to me when I stand in front of him on judgment day? It will be too late! You've been warned ... you will have no excuse and your entertainment execs wouldn't be able to negotiate a compromise. Think about it. May God have mercy on your soul."

• "Just read your laughable editorial. Dr. Laura has nailed it on the head and twisted, anything goes, anything is okay, nothing is wrong dullards such as yourself are what is ruining a once great nation. To simply say that something is OK because a certain number of people engage in that activity is insane. Also, trying to deny an opposing opinion on this or any other matter is Orwellian. As a nation we have defined deviancy down to the point where far too many people -- Ricki Lake nation -- now believe in an anything goes society. Homosexuality is deviancy. Homosexuals need not be. Simply do not act on your urges. Difficult??? Sure. But we have free will."

• "After reading your crap concerning Dr. Laura on your Web site I wouldn't want to have lunch with you either."

• "I disagree with your opinion. If there were more people in the world like Dr. Laura, this would be a far better place! I also support her views on marriage, abortion, euthanasia and her other moral values. She offers advice on the way to a good, clean, healthy life. I have made positive changes in my life because of her and am all the better for it! You, however, offer nothing."

• "It is outrageous degenerate people like you that have contributed to the moral decline of this nation. You obviously have no respect for Divine Law and prefer to ride the wave of deviant behavior to gain some notoriety and fame among the depraved. Have you ever had a decent thought? Are you capable of knowing one if it happened upon you? You are not hated any more than are homosexual people. You are obviously one of those deranged people who think contending for a standard of morality above the beast is hate. You are pitied because you are so far removed from decency, purity, and moral uprightness."

• "WHY are you afraid of this woman, man get a life or a job or something. Ever hear of the Second Amendment, man get yourself some education." (I'm not quite sure what a well-regulated militia has to do with Dr. Laura, but OK.)

• "Dr. Laura is right. You sick lesbians should just shut your stupid liberal mouths. Homosexuals have rights; it's called the Bill of Rights. But as usual they want even more rights than anyone else. If homosexuality is given special protection in this country then other freaks or unnatural acts such as sex with the dead and animals will have to be as well. Why don't you shut your little mouth and keep your sick heterophobia to yourself. America doesn't care about homosexuals because it is deviant and sick and so are you."

• "Sometimes the truth hurts. The fact is you know in your heart that the huge majority of people in this country agree with Dr. Laura. The thing that deviant sex advocates such as yourself don't want to admit is that you will never gain the acceptance you seek. Even if politicians like Clinton (who campaign and gain office on traditional morals and only once in power start handing out special privelege to any perverse group who seeks it) have used the threat of government force to advance this pathetic agenda, the fact remains that the approval that you seem to seek from society will never come.

  "And since you looked up 'physiology' in an attempt to discredit Dr. Laura, why not look up 'deviant' too? The way I see it, Dr. Laura called a spade a spade. At least be proud of what it is."

• "I know who I'd least like to lunch with ... you or any other liberal that has problems with a person's beliefs. Talk about intolerance ... it's the left that WHINES every time a person doesn't like them!"

• And finally (this one's my favorite): "You bitch. Go to hell and leave Dr. Laura alone. I'm no fan of Laura but hate you even more. You bitch."

I guess you get the general idea: Anyone who believes that homosexuality is godless and evil is good; anyone who believes that gays have the right to live their lives the way biology impels them to is sick, twisted, deviant and damned.

I still fail to understand why so many people are so terribly anxious to instruct other people on the "correct" way to live their lives. What's the reason? If someone isn't directly causing you harm, why can't you -- as one writer put it -- live and let live?

But the reaction wasn't only negative. A lot of people checked in with their own objections to Dr. Laura's perspective:

• "In a world festering with anger and hate, the thought of someone like Dr. Laura being provided with a wider public audience is about as welcome as ... well, I just can't think of anything to draw an analogy to right now without sounding as angry and hateful as her. Diversity is to be embraced; that is why the good Lord (no, I am not a particularly religious being) made such a wide 'rainbow' of people for his world.

  "Can you imagine just how boring it would be if we all had the same likes/dislikes, dressed alike, ate the same food ... you see where I am going. Blessed are the deviant, because they keep the normal ones normal?"

• "Dr. Laura is the biological error!"

• "For a woman who prides herself on 'being her kid's mom' and a religious person who constantly throws God in your face, she sure spews a lot of hate. Hopefully her son won't inherit her ignorance, but I'd say his chances are slim. Very sad."

• "AMEN, AMEN, AMEN. If there is a heaven and some of the people like 'Dr.' Laura go there, I don't want to be anywhere near it. Incidentally, I'm a female heterosexual and not a 'deviant.'"

• "It really scares me to know what scary people there are out there. I remember thinking, as a child, that we were so lucky that all that narrow-minded, conservative religion bias was all in the past: burning witches, branding people with an A, minding everyone else's morals for them. It's really horrifying that we're swinging that way so badly again.

  "I think that for a number of years people have been taught to think only of themselves, and they've not learned to have any respect for anyone else. I think that's made them self-centered, mean and very cold. I am horrified at how the 'me' generation has backfired on us."

• "Thank you for your comments about Dr. Laura. The thing that scares me the most about her (and her ridiculous contemporary, Rush Limbaugh) is that many people not only agree with her, but they LOOK to this woman for moral guidance. It is absolutely horrifying that so many people in this country can't think for themselves: 'Homosexuality is the downfall of a civilization, Dr. Laura? All righty.' 'Dr. Laura puts homosexuality, cross-dressing, incest and pedophilia all on the same level of badness? Must be so.' 'The sky is orange? Right-o, good Doctor.' Unbelievable.

  "I'd be happy if I could dismiss these idiots as backwoods, acid-washed-jeans wearing, "achy breaky" hair-having rednecks, but I can't. I've met far too many people who seem fairly erudite until you find out they think the world's going to collapse in upon itself because some guy sleeps with another guy (neither of whom, assuredly, they don't know). Don't they have enough to do?

  "Anyway, I know you're probably going to get blasted from many of Dr. Laura's fans and/or people from the 'Christian Coalition' (note the quotes -- I have serious issues with people who use Christianity to foster hate and intolerance). To them, I say, 'Get a damn hobby and get yer noses out of other people's lives.' To you, I say, 'You're right. They're wrong. So there.'"

• This is one of my favorites: "I'm a spokesman for StopDrLaura.com, and I cannot tell you how hard I laughed when I read your article. If I weren't gay, I'd marry you! Bless you!"

But the e-mail that touched me the most came from a man whom we'll call Joe. He knows far better than I -- and much better than most of the Dr. Laura defenders who wrote to me -- what this all means. Here's what he wrote:

"A large stick with which to poke holes in 'Dr.' Laura's presumptions and personal opinions about gays and being curable by 'going straight' is the large but silent group of gay but married men out here in society, of which I am one.

"I have always been attracted to men, but 26-plus years ago married a woman, because that is what I felt was expected by society, my family, and my peers at the conservative Christian college I attended. I then attended and graduated from a liberal seminary and spent 13 years pastoring in various 'straight' churches.

"Well, I am STILL attracted to men. My continued exposure and life within straight culture (including two children) has done nothing to change my sexual orientation, not that I ever expected it would. I know better.

"Betsy, there are many, many like myself. We care about our wives and families, but can't help our natural inclinations. No matter how much we try to keep them in check, they always pop up sooner or later, and then we have to seek each other out (or other sympathetic but discreet gays), not just for the sexual release, but also for the rare opportunity to just be ourselves, let our 'hair down' and share a few precious hours with understanding friends.

"I do not consider myself deviant. What does appear deviant to me are those who subject us, and society at large, to the venom of hate and fear and anger, which says more about their inner selves and their personal/spiritual development (or lack thereof) than it does about any one else's.

"The 'True Path of Faith' does not condemn others for their difference, but rather embraces them as full members of the Human Family. Someday our disparate world cultures will finally realize that, but in the meantime we must patiently perservere.

"Your willingness to be a public mouthpiece and challenge to ignorance and fear is something for which I commend and thank you. Keep doing this good work. You will be rewarded for it inwardly and eternally for the positive contribution it makes to human growth and potential.

"Thanks for this opportunity to speak my piece (and peace too, I hope)."

Past Culture Shocked columns

Note: Betsy's pop culture column, Culture Shocked, appears every Wednesday in our Entertainment section. She welcomes your questions and comments.

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