Ah, Easter time ... time for chocolate bunnies, marshmallow duckies, little sugared animal cookies, and all the other munchable critters that make the season special.

Every holiday has its specific edibles. At Valentine's, we eat hearts. At Halloween, we consume edible effigies of monsters, witches and black cats. And I'm not even going to get into the savage, cannibalistic traditions at Yuletide, what with chocolate soldiers, Santas and the like.

When the aliens get here, they're going to take one look at our candy baskets and decide we're WAY too savage to join the Intergalactic League of Really Cool Species.

Not that I'm any different, you understand. I scarf down peanut butter-filled rabbits with abandon, and don't get between me and a frosted animal cookie unless you want to bleed. The only Eastertide treat I've never really developed a taste for is Peeps. They've always reminded me, in texture and taste, of styrofoam packing peanuts.

For those of you who simply can't get enough of the fluffy stuff, though, we present Marshmallowpeeps.com, a site devoted to the adoration of aquatic bird-shaped marshmallow munchies. You'll find a gift shop, Peeps screen savers, and all sorts of other quasi-amusing stuff.

For those of you of a more twisted bent, and you know who you are, we present Peep Research. Ever wondered what happens to a peep under high heat? Extreme cold? In water? This site will answer all your questions. It should be noted that all Peeps seen on this site volunteered in the interest of science.

Every Cop's Dream

Two thieves in Slidell, La., allegedly took advantage of a trusting Krispy Kreme truck driver who left his back and cab doors open and his engine running while he made a dropoff of the world's finest doughnuts.

Police, who of course were not far away, gave chase to the pilfered pastry purveyor machine. They had little trouble with the pursuit ... they simply followed the trail of Krispy Kreme boxes which marked the roadway quite well where they lay after flying out the still-open back door.

The driver's companion told police that she and her friend had been drinking and smoking crack cocaine. How's that for surprise of the year?

So, you get the munchies from crack now? Then why are all crack addicts so danged skinny?

Keep It Clean

Two words you don't often hear together are "Amish troublemakers." However, the good folks of the town of Loyal, Wis., are faced with just such a group.

Stating that their horses "pollute" less than the townspeople's automobiles, the behatted carriage-driving folk have begun refusing to clean up their horses' deposits from the area roads. Police Chief Matthew Kubista says kids are biking through the horse piles and car tires are tracking it into garages.

This is an interesting case. Is it better to snort exhaust fumes or gum up your shoes and tires with horse effluvia? What do you think?

Personally, I'm with the Amish on this one. I'd rather smell horse droppings than the belching black cancer cloud put out by the poorly maintained '78 Cutlass that my neighbor somehow manages to get through inspection year after year.

The Naked And The Fertile

Poor old Chuck Stitzer finally has his vindication. It seems the 63-year-old Harrisburg, Pa., man likes to garden in his back yard wearing a thong, or nothing at all.

His neighbors raised a fuss, and a local court sentenced him to two years probation for indecent exposure. The Pennsylvania Superior Court judges, who are well-known for being naked under their clothes, overturned the local court and stated that Chuck was free to bury tubers in the buff, tend nasturtiums in the nude, and trim alyssum in the altogether.

Urban Legend Of The Week

The "second wave" of post-WTC rumors has begun in earnest. That bastion of poorly researched news, rank innuendo and all-around bad journalism known as WorldNetDaily reported on a French Web site advancing the theory that no plane crashed into the Pentagon. The theory was based on some sketchy observations, bad science, and outright fabrication.

Quite simply, this is an outright lie, or at least the poorest reporting since Geraldo broke into Capone's tomb.

Not only were BOTH black boxes from the plane recovered from INSIDE the Pentagon ruins, but all but one of the bodies of the plane passengers were also retrieved and identified. There are photos other than the one shown on the French site which DO show plane wreckage, and numerous eyewitnesses saw and heard the plane hit the building.

Rumor-mongering, conspiracy theorizing, and red-herring tossing are not going to accomplish a thing but diffusing efforts and creating more paranoia where there's already plenty.

So, how's things in your corner of the Weird world? Any naked guys in your garden? Any Amish horses pooping on your driveway? Give me a shout!