Free Fantasy Football Sites Are History

Why can't I get something for nothing? Isn't that what the Internet is all about -- pretending to notice advertisers, borrowing passwords and getting it all free of charge?

That's what I've always admired about the sites that have offered me fantasy football, so in my neverending quest to achieve this goal, I hereby declare this week's Web Site of the Week nothing.

Nothing, because they've all dried up. Or wised up. Whatever, it's hurting me.

For the last two years, as commissioner of my fantasy football league, I've used commissioner.com. It's a service that lends itself to such sports Web sites as Sportsline and CNN/SI, and in exchange for nothing, it tabulates points, calculates standings, and it used to save me hours of tallying scores by hand.

I'm not even going to lie; that service had it all. It had real-time scoring that was usually correct, it allowed all members to personalize our league page with pictures and stories, and it let us set our own scoring rules. If we wanted a punter to be awarded 87 points for throwing an interception to an opposing team's cheerleader, dang it, we could have done that.

But then it all came crashing down. This year, a statement from the company reads:

"When we switched to a free service in 2000, our expectation was that we would attract a large audience of loyal users and that advertisers would line up to reach them. ... However, it became clear that by offering the product free of charge, we could not sustain the level of investment we felt necessary to continually improve the Football Commissioner offering for our dedicated customers" blah blah blah.

Basically, they weren't turning a profit. Big deal, though; I know millions of Web sites that haven't made a profit yet (this column runs on many of them). I just wish they could have been more patient.

I mean, who do they think they are? Do they really believe the people who play fantasy football are the lazy, beer-drinking, chip-eating, sofa-clinging, channel-flipping, satellite dish-owning, wife-ignoring oafs who will just fork over $140 to save some time on a Sunday or Monday night?

They do. In fact, they're banking on it.

My fallback was going to be Fanball. It's a site that has never allowed much freedom -- you have to play by all their rules -- but at least it would do the point-totaling and such. Now even it charges.

I'm starting to think there isn't one out there. It appears no one is jumping up to seize the opportunity of pleasing me and the rest of the cost-conscious rotisserie players.

So why not the NFL? The popularity of fantasy leagues has benefited no one more than the league itself. It's the reason that people who normally wouldn't care about an Arizona-Seattle game in November tune in on a Sunday afternoon. If Jake Plummer can just NOT throw an interception the rest of the game, I'll win this week.

Maybe it's because the NFL's own site is powered by Sportsline and has fallen under control of the evil commissioner monopoly.

My answer -- for this season, at least -- is to rebel. I'm not paying your stupid fees. I'll be fine by myself, thank you very much.

With remedial html skills, I've cobbled together a site for my friends. And on Sunday nights, you'll find me at home with my 28K dialup and a calculator.

Congratulations, nothing: You're this week's Web site of the Week.